Oy Gavalt!

To be in a state of eighteenth century propriety is quite an astonishing and interesting state to be in, I assure you. However, with both my English classes occupying my time in novels concerning propriety and virtue in the eighteenth century, it's hard to escape the traditionalist mentality that permeates the reading of them. The reason I bring this up is because until just a few moments ago, I was reading Francis Burney's "Evelina." There are so many despicable "gentlemen" pining and snivelling for Evelina's attention, it's just sick. And the girl's family! They're horribly ill-bred embarassing people. Even if it's unjust, the class system existed for a reason. Uncouth, uncivil, uneducated morons were shunned for a reason by the upper classes. However, those who weren't uncouth, uncivil and uneducated morons but were in the same social class often were stuck there without hope of moving up into better society, so perhaps it's a good thing that class isn't so pronounced now after all.
I have so much reading, laundry, and reading to do that I'm making myself sick just thinking about it. But now I've definitely decided that I need to get to work and stop being lazy, so that I can do well in school and go to grad school. Aren't my ambitions exciting, moving, and above all, AMAZING? I didn't think so. But it's something.

What really gets to me is the fact that my life might be 1/4 over. I mean, unless I live to be 100, that mark may have already passed! And now is the time that is most fun! Oh, if only the fact of leaving this world wasn't so depressing. And now, in true spirit of dejection and dispiritedness, I will go do my laundry and read about communication between people from one of the most boring textbooks ever written. This is coming from someone who *ahem* borrowed and never bothered to return various literature and history textbooks because in her words, they are "fascinating gems of knowledge I can't wait to sit down and enjoy."

Why Are Baptists so Afraid of Sex? Cuz it might lead to DANCING!

I love dancing. Last night at UTBallroomDance was SCHVEETNESS! I've definitely improved with practice, which is comforting, so I don't make guys leave due to my terrible dancing skills. But now I have SKILLZ! Anyway, poor Laura got hit on by Vinh, the Vietnamese guy nicknamed "Sqwunchy-Faced Asian Guy." He sipmly doesn't get it that she's engaged. She doesn't want him. You may read about it more at her LJ. I'm glad I don't have a squnchy or a voldemort of my own. However, Creepy-Psych boy is on the level of Voldemort creepiness. Now I think I'll write my paper (or play more online games) and then.... SLEEP! Tomorrow is Friday!

I'd Rather Be Knitting

[mood: Not happy. Not unhappy.]
[music: This Mortal Coil - Song of the Siren]

This week has been a week signed and sanctioned by Satan to make me miserable, pressured, and stressed out. However, the most annoying thing is that it's not entirely due to large amounts of work. Oh no. It's due to my incessant laziness.

Chapters (cumulative) to have read this week : 6, plus 200 pages of novels.
Chapters actually read: 1/4 of 1 chapter. and 160 pages from the novels... note that 60 were read 2 hours before class began and were discussed.

Amount of tests this week: 1
Grade probability on said test[s]: B---maybe. Why? It was an easy-assed test. However, I didn't study the little details that might've made the difference between an A or a B. Why wasn't I studying? AIM.
Actual Grade Achieved: 86. I knew it.
My Feelings on this grade: I know I could've done better

Amount of Papers due this week: 1
Amount written as of right now: 1 page. of 6.

Amount of tests/papers due sometime before Spring break: 3. 1 paper and 2 tests. Oh, and 3 reading quizzes.

My solution to feeling like a bad student (and the guilt trip I'll get if I lose my scholarship): Do homework prior to 10:00, when AIM can be all-consuming without too many problems.
Yea. I haven't knit a stitch since Sunday. I'm in withdrawal. This is just too painful.

What Circle Of Hell Are You In?

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

Now you get to judge me.

If I could, I surely would...

[mood: procrastinatory}
[music: Simon and Garfunkel - El Condor Pasa (If I Could) & America]

Note that now is a time I should be doing the mountains of reading that cast their looming shadow over my head, but as I choose to ignore it and wait until later tonight and then complain tomorrow that I'm lacking sleep, be grateful that I'm warning you.

Thoughts I've Pondered Today:

* Why is it that when you like someone and want to see them, you never happen to run into them? Note that when you hate someone and want to avoid them at all possible costs, there's no possible way to avoid them.

* How the hell does one (female, for the most part) understand the male brain?

* Whether it would be so bad to drop out of college and live with my parents for another 15 years and simply knit and craft and sew.

* The above probably would not go down well with said parents. Though the crafty part definitely goes down well with me.

* The Greek/Classical thought that one achieves immortality if one is remembered throughout the ages. How many millions who were known in their time or even not so well-known have had their ageless existances fade with the passing of the years? I don't want to be forgotten, but it is one of thos things that is inevitable for one such as myself.

* Maybe living alone and being a crazy cat-woman isn't such a bad idea considering the alternatives of an old-maid existance.

* What summer plans do I want to consider? I'm thinking the North of Spain, like Santiago de Compostela because Galicia is by far one of my favorite places. Probably because it reminds me of England. And the seafood is to die for. Yes, it's that good.

* I want to create a facebook group for people who are average in every way except one and proud of it. I'm average in height, weight, intelligence, shoe size, beauty, and virtually everything else. My one claim to non-averageness is that I'm half-Spanish. Yup, that's it.

* I read this article (rather, transcript) of a speech given by the President of Harvard as to why there are fewer women in the "hardcore sciences" like Physics and Engineering and stuff. It's not that there are fewer opportunities for women in those fields, it's just that the amount of time needed is more than most women are willing to invest (because they want to have families) and the fact that it is in the nature of women to be more nurturing/emotional on average. That's not to say that I don't know girls who seriously rock in Math and Sciences. There are just fewer of them than guys, because ON AVERAGE most girls prefer the humanities to mathematics and science. That's not to say that the reverse isn't true for guys either. There are some guys who are killer in the Humanities, but give them a physics equation and they're at a loss. It's not discrimination, it's not "socialization" of girls and boys into specific gender roles, although that definitely plays a part. Genetics plays a part in gender roles. You'd be stupid not to believe it.

* I need to ask myself questions regarding my beliefs and where I stand on certain issues. Not because of what my parents tell me or what my professors tell me, but what I really think. I need a month of pure unadultered rest and relaxation to make a dent in the tangled confused knot that lurks within my brain.

I hope you all ponder too.

For those of you who haven't read my away message, I leave you with THIS wonderful Map of Humanity. Here are close-ups. Go on and look... you may be surprised at how damn cool it is.

Ahhh...

What a great weekend this was! Friday night was the Salsa Dance Festival, which, I must say, rocked my world. The dancing! The professional-like couples! Amazing, simply amazing. Then we went to a club, but left really early into it because there were these weird thug-like guys staring at us, the only white people in there.... it was scary. Then we went to Pluckers for chicken and fried pickles. I swear, if you haven't had a fried pickle, you have NO IDEA what you're missing. Mmm... yummy! They're so delectably wonderful. They sound weird, I know, but if you ever get the chance, try them!

Then yesterday I headed over to Laura's for some fabulous Gourmet Pizza, created by the culinary maven, Stephanie. Absolutely fabulous! Since Laura didn't have her loverboy around this weekend, I stayed to keep her company, and we stayed up all night, swapped manly stories, and in the morning, I made WAFFLES! (The fact that I kept her company is true, but not the waffles). Now I'm sitting here, updating the blog instead of homework, because homework is not fun, and the internet is. Oh well. That's my weekend, such as it was. Fun and great. Isn't that how life should be?

A Good day to breathe easy

[mood: little-ray-of-sunshine happy]
[music: aimee mann - one is the loneliest number]

Well, much to my delight, the DHFS called me today informing me that they had reviewed my case and had decided to re-offer me the contract! All I had to do was head over there and sign it before noon tomorrow. I headed out to class about an hour early, signed it, and now it's activated! :-D It made my day, really it did. To celebrate and to simply enjoy the lovely weather that we've been having recently, I took a walk over by the turtle pond. So many turtles! There had to have been about 25 of them. They ranged from big ones with shells about the size of a sheet of printer paper to a teeny tiny little thing nor more than an inch and a half long! It was so neat just to sit and watch them swim, sunbathe, and climb around. I watched until class time, simply bursting with joy at the fact that I am no longer screwed over for housing. Life is good.

Tonight I have dance class, where hopefully I'll catch on better than I did last week. I danced so badly that this one guy actually left! I've been practicing the basic step, so hopefully everything will be better. All in all, it's fun, and all I can do is improve, right?

Music Thingy

Because procrastination on schoolwork definitely has more weight than actually doing the work, here is a little meme thingy that I've seen on blogs:

1. Total amount of music files on your computer:
The almighty iTunes claims that I have 3382 music files or 13.92 Gigs. I'm a musical girl, what can I say?

2. The last CD you bought was:
Hmm... The Devil's Own Soundtrack. The movie was nothing special, but the Irish/Celtic influence on the soundtrack was KILLER! Very beautiful music. Before that I think I bought the Megan Slankard Band Cd. She's good... like Sheryl Crow and Alanis Morissette in one, but in a good way.

3. What is the song you last listened to before reading this message?
Right now I'm listening to "Galileo" by the Indigo Girls, but before that I was listening to the cover of Snoop Dogg's "Gin and Juice" done in a country/bluegrass style by The Gourds.

4. Write down 5 songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you.
This will be interesting. I've sorted them into different categories, because simply 5 songs is a very meagre limit:

Five songs when I'm feeling my usual way:
1. The Black and Tans - by the Irish Descendants
2. Who Needs Sleep? by the Barenaked Ladies
3. Dr. Bones by the Cherry Poppin' Daddies
4. I'm Always in Love by Wilco
5. China Roses by Enya

Five songs that make me happy:
1. Ocean Man and Hey There, Fancypants by Ween
2. The Drunk Scotsman by Mike Cross
3. It's Oh-So-Quiet by Bjork
4. I'm Shaken by Rooney
5. Super Trouper by the A-Teens (and ABBA too)

Five songs when I'm depressed:
1. Bleecker Street by Jonatha Brooke
2. Song to the Siren by This Mortal Coil
3. Wild Mountain Thyme by the Brobdingnagian Bards
4. Get Outta London by Aztec Camera
5. Fast Car by Tracy Chapman

Five songs for getting ready to go out:
1. Birdhouse in Your Soul by They Might Be Giants
2. Walkie Talkie Man by Steriogram
3. Forca by Nelly Furtado
4. Dancing Queen by ABBA
5. Let's Hear it for the Boy (From Queer as Folk, the TV show)

Five Songs for Driving:
1. Jerry Springer by Weird Al Yankovic
2. Josephine by Teitur
3. Do You Know The Way To San Jose by Dionne Warwick
4. Candy by Stegosaurus
5. Anything by Sister Hazel, The Barenaked Ladies and Counting Crows

Five Movie Theme or Broadway Songs that I Love to Sing Really Loudly
1. Thoroughly Modern Millie (from Thoroughly Modern Millie)
2. You're The One That I Want (from Grease)
3. Gaston (from Beauty and the Beast)
4. Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood by Santa Esmeralda (from Kill Bill)
5. Wanna Be Like You (from the Jungle Book)

5. Who are you going to pass this stick to? (3 persons) and why?
Well, since there are a select few of you who read this, why doesn't everyone pick it up and do it if they haven't already?

What is Love?

knitting is love
..... and cookies and chocolate and reading and LotR and scones and tea and green and music and dancing and yarn and poetry and sleeping and kitties and .....
brought to you by the isLove Generator (modified by moi)

These are the days that make you want to cease living

Sorry to sound so depressing, but today was a crap-tacular day if I've ever lived one. One of those days when I truly empathize with those who the planet has decided to fling large, filthy handfuls of excrement at. Why so crappy, you ask? Well, it looks like I've been fucked over for a place to live next year. I sent my housing contract last week on Tuesday, in the expectation that through the Campus mail system, it would reach the Division of Housing and Food sometime before 5:00 on Friday afternoon, the deadline for it. I get a nasty e-mail today saying "we have cancelled your contract." I go over to DHFS and ask what's going on... for I had sent my contract with plenty of time. They say, "we haven't got your contract, so we cancelled it. And no, we can't re-open the offer. We've already offered your spot to an incoming freshman." I have a look of horror on my face, so they say they'll review my case, and get back to me when it's convenient for them. Oh, and if things don't work out, I have to wait till the FRESHMEN are accomodated before figuring out where I'm living. That means, that they might deny me housing in AUGUST, leaving me about a week and a half to find a place to live. I started crying and called my parents, who angrily called DHFS who exclaimed in their bureaucratic manner that it was my fault. Now what sucks most is that it probably is my fault. I think I may have forgotten to put a stamp on the envelope, in my naivete that cross-campus mail would automatically get sorted out (and that since it's cross-campus, a stamp isn't necessary). Nope. I now have to come to grips with the fact that I might have fucked myself over even more.

One thing I've learned: never rely on middle-men for the possibility is that they'll screw it up royally.

I've already resigned myself to living in Jester next year, if need be, but what I don't want is to live in perpetual anticipation, only to have them deal the blow "oh sorry, there's no space. we keep your $300 deposit, and you have to find another place to live." In August. That sort of statement would send me into a nervous breakdown from which I probably wouldn't be able to recover.

My problem is that I like to have things pretty much set, so I don't have to worry. This whole not-knowing drives me crazy. Call me a control freak, but it's my form of sanity.

I'm going to deal with my stress in one of two ways: eating massive amounts of chocolate and highly caloric foods, or knitting like a madwoman until the wee hours of the morning. The latter sounds less harmful to my body... who knows, I may just immerse myself in my studies for all I know.

I feel like chinese

[mood - Lazy as hell]
[music - Cherry Poppin' Daddies - Dr. Bones]

In the spirit of swingin' and lovin' and all that push-shovin' I bring you, without further ado a poem of silly notions and epic proportions:

Actually, no poetry courses through my veins at the moment. Despite the fact it's Valentine's Day tomorrow, I am utterly alone. I wish it could be otherwise, but this is the lot that I struck at this point in time. I've been thinking about romance and stuff, prompted mainly by the troubles my roommate and her boyfriend have been having, and the advice I've given her. Throughout the course of my reflections, I've done some wondering at myself. Why do I not have a romance at this time? Is it something I'm doing? Or is it just God/The Planet/Fate that would have it that way? In all truth, I don't know. It's verging on two years I've been romantically un-attached, and although some may say "Hey, I've NEVER had a relationship, so cut the crap" I say, once you've been in a relationship, and you've enjoyed the feeling, it sucks to be without one when you want one. I guess I've needed the change of scene to really mature and get to know myself. In High School, both the first and last years were spent sans boys. Freshman year was a time of lots of poetry and bouts of sadness, and Senior year was more of "ah, sweet relief, I don't have a clingy boy who makes me degrade myself (not in any "dirty" way, but just the way I dressed) and forces me to be someone I'm not." It took a while before I could say, I know I've matured and become an independent person, which basically says that now what with college and all, I know I can handle both school and romance. With much more meditation, zen, and thought, I've decided to let things happen as they do, but never to close my eyes to possibility. So yea, if you all aren't with someone at the moment, hang in there until God/The Planet/Fate decides to put someone in your path that you're meant for. If you're in with somebody, congrats! Enjoy your Valentine's day, and if you have leftover chocolate, you can send it my way!

Cheers!

What household object are you?

You are a sock. You are a cozy, fuzzy, warm-hearted person. A lot of your friends describe you as a hopeless romantic. You fall for the opposite sex very easily. But be careful, because usually you don't know what you are getting into, and because you are very sensitive, you can get hurt... especially in early relationships. Also, don't exclude the cold-hearted from your "want-list", because they just might be looking for a kind person to warm up their heart.... or a sock to warm up their feet. Most compatible with: Toilet Paper. Click here -- What Random Object Represents Your Inner Self?

A new month's here... whee!

Yes, I realize this is a bit late, but I wanted to keep myself a wee bit accountable for the things I said I would do. Obviously, some, like "post at least every day" have been discarded many moons ago, but others, such as read a non-academic book and knit at least one new object a month are coming along well. January's book was one Myra lent me: "The curious incident of the dog in the night-time" Read it if you can. It's great.

What sort of Little Girl Were You?

Quiet Girl


What kind of little girl were YOU?
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